Can i not drive my cunt home
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
