i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
