I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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