Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
