So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
