I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
