Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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