thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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