we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
