How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
