The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
He's on the porch naked. Help.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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