Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
