Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
It was like giving head to a cactus.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize