Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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