She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
