Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
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His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
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yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Randomize