I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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