hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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