how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
