Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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