sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
your thong is hanging out like whoa
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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