yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You're a waste of cheezeits
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
