nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She bit a glass in half.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
