Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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