omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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