i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
