All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
