Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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