I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
