A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
why do cheetos always look like penises
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
