im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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