He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
