OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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