Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
