1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
vagina is talking i cant
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
