So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
