I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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