Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!

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(321): well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party! http://tfl.nu/cd3j

Replies (9) Good night (791) Bad night (2253)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...

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(610): Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick... http://tfl.nu/36kw

Replies (67) Good night (5477) Bad night (899)
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(407): View more from Florida

At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!

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(407): At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick! http://tfl.nu/dynw

Replies (56) Good night (1263) Bad night (9115)
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(661): View more from California

Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?

(1-661): View more from California

What the hell did you do last night?!

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(661): Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy? (1-661): What the hell did you do last night?! http://tfl.nu/xxav

Replies (48) Good night (822) Bad night (9890)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers

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(615): i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers http://tfl.nu/7wrv

Replies (5) Good night (3083) Bad night (772)
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(970): View more from Colorado

I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service

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(970): I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service http://tfl.nu/s56z

Replies (17) Good night (5972) Bad night (763)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.

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(617): I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night. http://tfl.nu/ytje

Replies (7) Good night (4005) Bad night (1221)
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(510): View more from California

It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.

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(510): It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello. http://tfl.nu/um1l

Replies (4) Good night (2195) Bad night (641)
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(770): View more from Georgia

If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?

(910): View more from North Carolina

That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?

(770): View more from Georgia

Touche.

(910): View more from North Carolina

I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.

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(770): If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door? (910): That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating? (770): Touche. (910): I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR. http://tfl.nu/rwye

Replies (6) Good night (3933) Bad night (820)
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(210): View more from Texas

I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.

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(210): I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them. http://tfl.nu/a4vh

Replies (9) Good night (603) Bad night (771)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

So Monday we're lesbians.

(1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.

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(717): So Monday we're lesbians. (1-717): Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball. http://tfl.nu/1nin

Replies (6) Good night (1310) Bad night (469)
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(515): View more from Iowa

I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month

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(515): I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month http://tfl.nu/wdkb

Replies (9) Good night (1146) Bad night (389)
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(208): View more from Idaho

Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet

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(208): Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet http://tfl.nu/73eb

Replies (1) Good night (396) Bad night (772)
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(+61): View more from Australia

A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM

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(+61): A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM http://tfl.nu/lo1g

Replies (2) Good night (644) Bad night (217)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.

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(202): Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone. http://tfl.nu/t31y

Replies (25) Good night (305) Bad night (921)

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