I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
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You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
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We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim