Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.