K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
My hand turned me down
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.