I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize