Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
