your thong is hanging out like whoa
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
