Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
he's gonorrhea incarnate
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I just want to make out with him forever
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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