I'm jealous of your bromance
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
