It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize