That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize