Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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