I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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