God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
