My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
