I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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