Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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