I'll bet she douches with gravy.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Randomize
