pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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