i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I love how my cats smell like pot.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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