he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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