Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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