I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize