Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
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