how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
