It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Two words: nipple clamps
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