Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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